Taking Medication Doesn't Mean You're Crazy
Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2009
by Ryan Stroud
When I was younger, around the age of five, I can remember standing on a chair in time-out and screaming at everyone. I was mad I was there, it wasn't my fault. The teachers and the other kids where out to get me.
As I grew older, they were still out to get me. Everyone; and I really do mean everyone.
Though I was roughly a happy child and teen, and I had plenty of friends, I was still pretty angry and I really didn't know why.
My time in Iraq was hard. Just months after arriving, a friend of mine was killed. My job as public affairs had me covering his memorial service, taking pictures and writing a story about him. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I was crying throughout the entire ceremony to the point that I fogged up my camera lens.
Things just kept getting worse over there and my anger level just kept rising and rising. I was reaching a breaking point when a friend and doctor of mine (he was also our unit's surgeon) told me I needed to start taking medication to help calm myself down. I was appalled that he would suggest this. Only freaks or crazy people with real problems take meds.
It wasn't until another leader in my unit saw how things were affecting me and he sat me down one afternoon. He told me his son was on meds and needed to be to properly function. If he wasn't on them, he would tear through their house, destroying everything. He then asked me if this sounded like me. I said yes because it was true.
Both these two men helped shape me the next few weeks and through the rest of my deployment. Later as I returned from Iraq, I got of my medication to see how things would go. I was off for about a month and in that time, while still dealing with the issues I had from Iraq, I angered my wife so badly she was about ready to leave me. The truth was I needed the meds to function.
What I've come to learn is this is not at all my fault, some of it is, like letting everything get to me, but other things, I really had no control over. At times, my brain will not let me control the things like anger that others can control. When something would bother me so badly, it might just make someone else turn the other way. My brain, whether chemical or not, was not letting me deal with these issues the proper way. The medication was adjusting levels in my head and allowing my mind to act and think clearly.
My previous thoughts about freaks and crazy people with real problems are the only ones who need meds has gone out the window. I have learned that there are things I cannot accept without the help from medication. I am a successful writer in the military who has been published in every major publication, newspapers and magazines, out there. I have conducted interviews and press conferences with CNN and Fox News, plus many other networks. I am walking proof that people on medications are not freaks or horrible people. We are just like you.
So, to those out there who might think they need a little extra help, seek it. These meds don't make me a zombie; they help me stay calm so I can move forward with my life instead of hitting a wall every time I have issues.
Medication might not be the right thing for you, but just remember, if you are taking meds, there's nothing wrong with you. We are just like everyone else.
Ryan Stroud is a military trained journalist who has served in Iraq with the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, US Army. Prior to his military experiences, Stroud grew up playing, coaching, and refereeing soccer. Also, Stroud focused many years of his life playing, touring, and recording/producing local music acts. He has a wonderful wife of 4 years, a 2 year old son and a newborn daughter.
Stroud's biggest writing influences are Jim Butcher, Chuck Palahniuk, Edward Lee, Jack Ketchum, Christopher Moore and Ben Fox.
He currently resides in Huntsville, Al, with the 59th Ordnance Brigade at Redstone Arsenal.
Stroud would also like to take a moment to thank his friends who are currently in battle over in Iraq. God bless all of you.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Excellent, factual and courageous article--Steve
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